she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
