batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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