The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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