I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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