We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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