Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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