Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize