there was a trapeze. enough said
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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