I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
