If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
