I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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