Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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