You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
As shirtless as possible
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
