you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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