She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
