If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
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I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house