If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?