beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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