I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?