Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
