You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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