I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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