Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
