we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
