dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
