About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
