When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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