her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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