i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
