Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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