The best revenge is premature balding
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
