i just wanna soil my oats bro
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
