Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
