I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize