I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
