Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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