i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
