Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
