On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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