i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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