Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
