Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
