never play flip cup with pint glasses
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
