question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
