i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
