FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
