I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
