According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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