Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
