The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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