Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
