Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
