people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
