Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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