just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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