I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you had me at cake vodka
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to calm my uterus...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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