You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
