I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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