He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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