How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
