The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
