Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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