i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
