Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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