Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
home. puking in laundry basket.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
