Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
