I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
