glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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