my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize